What A Woman Really Wants From A Guy by: Anonymous
Well gentlemen, your post is interesting. I am reading it because I have recently broken up with a guy who I miss very much. I broke up with him because he came on like a tsunami. He was a 'nice guy'. Too nice, too consuming of me, too attentive...I loved the warmth and affection, but hated feeling smothered, claustrophobic. If you are independent and somewhat healthy as a woman, with or without children, the man you are looking for is a usually a good guy who cares, is loving, affectionate, but also independent within himself, secure with himself. That is what makes a guy a hit. Most women want a guy who is 'nice' but they also want a man who is independent that they respect. It seems that with nice guys, it's everything or nothing. Too nice, or too bad and mean. We all want nice, but we also want a 'man' who is clear,strong, independent and not jerk.
Is it possible to get this in one person?
If I were a guy, I would want a woman who respected herself, was feminine, stood strong without being overbearing, a woman who was physically attractive and proud of her appearance. A woman who is sensual, who makes a man feel like a man, a woman who wouldn't want a jerk. I would want a woman who wanted a man, but didn't need a man. In my world it's a big difference. There are many women who want to just have a guy 'do' guy things for them. They use men to fix their houses, tires, cars etc.
Women use men just as much as men use women. There is hope! Some of us get past the stupidity and look for a guy that is confident within him self without being a jerk.
Thanks for listening.
Dec 07, 2009 Rating
By the hammer of thor... by: Anonymous
I am just so glad I found this article, magic.
I'm in the same boat, loved once...still do after four years. At the time I put myself out there and would have done anything for her. She knew I liked her but didn't feel the same way, so of course...we became friends. We were such good friends, amazing friends and knew everything about each other. She would talk about other guys she had seen as if I was one of her girlfriends which I of course hated.
It was about a year in the friend zone when she got a boyfriend and I was out of the picture, slowly but surely that is.
Currently my best friend is a girl who I, of course like, but she doesn't like me and has a boyfriend. I have told her, we actually had quite an open talk about it. I've recently tried not talking to her, I explained I need to get over her but I really couldn't do it. But I feel it's because I need her as a friend.
Now I'm going to follow the advice in this article and change, I'm only 19 so am hoping starting early will help. I'm going to stay friends with this girl, and just get myself out there. But with a brand new no more Mr. Nice guy attitude.
It's amazing how someone I will never meet gave me what could be some of the best advice of my early years.
Thanks very much!
Nov 04, 2009 Rating
Nice or just obsequious? by: Marcus
I like all the entries on this subject. I had recently gone on 15 dates in a row and rejected each time. I thought that maybe some ex girlfriend or ex wife had put a voodoo curse on me or something. I have read many articles on the subject but things just all came together for me after I read an article from another web site that was actually written by women. It was about the term "Nice guy". She said that you could really replace the words "Nice Guy" with "Weak Guy". We men are so into the theory that women go for jerks we feel we have to be a different personality or put on an act. This is totally not true. Beautiful, Quality women are everywhere and dying to meet interesting, strong men who are NOT Obsequious but also not pitiful jerks.
Men who have trouble meeting women often have trouble making men friends also. They both take the fear of rejection. Women don't like men who will put the pressure of being there whole world on them. They want to join our world.
Something interesting came to me about all of this when I thought back before I was divorced and I had more girlfriends that I could handle. I thought back hard about that time. It was a time where I was totally immersed in philosophical studies from a certain teacher. I was never as content and satisfied as this 4 year period but one thing that I thought was very strange at that time was why so many women were calling me and coming on to me during those days. I see now what was working there. I was so immersed in my studies and so content at home alone I didn't really care about being rejected from women or anyone else. I was not a recluse and had fun with people but I wore the clothes I wanted to wear, had the hairstyle I wanted and really was not affected by the pressures of the world. I see I need to get that back. I don't need to be a phony jerk to get beautiful women but actually much more of who I am. To me that means being a person who does not go home after a date or club night and let the man in the mirror beat me up for saying the wrong things to a woman or being rejected. To me a strong, desirable man actually enjoys his own company enough to not be affected by anything in the past. He doesn't need to be rescued from loneliness by a woman.
I feel that a man in this state of mind is instantly picked up by a woman's radar. You are not faking and you can also turn around and walk out of that room any time without the ache of loneliness pulling you back. This is the true Alpha Man in my opinion.
I feel this is how we get the women we really want. Now we try to fake it to keep an attractive woman. We actually should be picking the women we want with the highest qualities and not say "Is this the best I will find, I better grab this before it gets worse"
All of this is ruled by timeless natural laws. Its all about unlocking the secrets of those laws.
Jul 13, 2009 Rating
Correct by: Daniel
Yup, you hit it on the mark, I'm turning 26 and feel exactly as you did. I am so sick of my current losing streak I really have no other option. It seems kinda strange to start doing this but I feel this is the only way. Being myself really does not work and I really should not care that much if at all anymore.
Jun 19, 2009 Rating
True by: Anonymous
I am totally in the same boat as you. I was the successful super nice guy that just loves the company of a woman. This does not work and I am a faker when it comes to how I treat women. I want to be nice deep down but that gets no results and when I am a jerk I get as many women as I want. It sucks but I like the attention so much that I guess I can fake it for results. Thanks for knowing there are other guys out here like me.
May 23, 2009 Rating
I can totally relate to this by: Anonymous
Thanks for writing this post. I am in the exact position you were in: enjoying success in most aspects of life but nothing but failure with women. I have many female friends because of the major I study in and I have also been rejected a number of times. I totally agree with your viewpoint of the "act." Honestly the "act" is just too hard for me although i've tried....
Do you think there is any chance that I could get the love of my life without "acting?"
