Spirituality and Relationship

In the book, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Hendrix talks about spirituality in relationship and how all of us are spiritual beings and part of a greater universal truth. He says that we lose sight of this truth in childhood, but that we can “regain” it in adulthood by healing the wounds sustained in childhood.

One of the greatest ways to heal our wounds is to work together with our partner, for it is in partnership that the wounds become activated. And according to Hendrix, “When we gather the courage to search for the truth of our being and the truth of our partner’s being, we begin a journey of psychological and spiritual healing.”

Relationships are the absolute best way to grow, mature, and become more self-aware. Relationships are the universe’s clever way of showing us what parts of ourselves need work. You’ve heard about how your partner is your mirror, and when you see something you don’t like, it’s actually a reflection of some aspect of yourself you repress or deny. This is, unfortunately (or fortunately, if you choose to look at it that way!) true, and it’s what makes the wonderful honeymoon stage of a relationship eventually fade. What I have noticed about men is that when the going gets tough, or, in other words, when the time is ripe for some serious self-examination, most men opt out, rather than take a good, hard, honest look at themselves to try and understand the root of a relationship problem.

I know why this happens. It happens because it’s DAMN HARD to be brutally honest with oneself and see the not-so-nice aspects, the weaknesses, the selfishness. It’s so much easier to blame your partner for what’s happening. But if the roots of problems don’t get exposed, they will fester over time. And the same problems will come up again in the next relationship.

This is the point when we want to go deeper, and of course, we have to be willing to be honest with ourselves as well. There is so much going on in a relationship that is unconscious, so many expectations and beliefs we don’t even know we have that are influencing the relationship and that need to be exposed. Women want a conscious relationship with the men in their lives. Women want to be able to work on issues together so both can grow as human beings. And even though becoming more conscious is a hell of a lot of work, it is ultimately incredibly rewarding, because when you throw away your defenses, your blocks to intimacy, your outdated beliefs, your fears of exposing yourself, you have a lot more energy to be happy together!

Spirituality in relationship is an immense topic and it deserves more attention than this website page alone. There are many excellent books for exploring this topic and further reading is definitely recommended, either on your own or with your partner.