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Write a Great Online Dating Profile
How to Write a Great Online Dating Profile
Recently I went on a popular internet dating site to browse and do a little window shopping, mostly out of curiosity to see who's out there and looking. Two things struck me in particular:
- I was pleasantly surprised to see so many nice looking men.
- I was unpleasantly surprised to see that many of the online dating profiles featured bad writing and horrid photographs.
(To be fair, I didn't check out the women's ads. They could be just as bad, so this advice applies to both sexes.)
Why on earth, I wondered, wouldn't a man go to the trouble to, if not have a nice photo of himself taken, at least find a recent one for an online dating profile where he isn't:
- wearing a tank-style t-shirt or a baggy, ugly sweatshirt
- awkwardly positioned with one shoulder higher than the other because the photo is of him with his arm around someone and she has been amputated from view
- so dark you can barely make out his features
- missing part of his face
- surrounded by disembodied hands
- photographing himself in a mirror so there's a blinding white spot next to his face
- holding a fish (or a rifle)
- frowning
- out of focus
- weirdly lit with unflattering shadows
- wearing sunglasses
As for the blurbs that men wrote in their online dating profiles describing themselves and what they are looking for in a woman, it was obvious that many didn't bother to proofread what they wrote. (Takein it easy…Am looking for someone who is fun dose not play games… ethnicity: dark sikn)
They also couldn't think of what to say and wasted space by writing things like, "I'm not very good at this" or "I'm new to internet dating." Some guys wasted space by writing negative stuff like, "I'm sick of people trying to change me" or "I hate head games" or "I'm not into drama…"
Since the main point is to make a good first impression in an online dating profile, because, basically that's your one and only shot, why not make the extra effort to put your best foot forward and post a flattering picture and write a profile that is informative, intelligent, specific, and not full of typos.
Here's a sampling of what some men wrote:
- People might say I'm a bit anal about things.
- I enjoy being active and alive.
- It just can't be anybody but if you don't try, Know one will no.
- All I can say is:"I love spontinuity"
- I'm definatly not two dementional
- I would exspect my match to be as real as I am. Lacking in the communication department dont work.
- Layed back guy looking for layed back girl
- Myself im a laid back freindly, good to get along with likes to have fun laugh and have fun, and 1 thing i hardly ever do is to take life to seriously, or to be to serious minded all the time or somber-faced all the time like some people seem to wanna be for some reason.
So…without further ado. The What Women Want From Men GUIDELINES for designing a great internet profile.
The photograph:
- Must be recent, taken within the past year.
- If you have a professionally-done portrait of yourself, please include it.
- Have a friend take some photos of you. Wear clothes that you feel comfortable in and look good in but avoid message t-shirts, tank t-shirts (wife beaters), sweat shirts, going shirtless, loud patterns. The background should be neutral. We want to focus on your face and bod, not the crazy wall paper, group of drunk friends, or motorcycle behind you.
- Make sure the lighting is half way decent.
- Take some head shots and full body shots.
- You can add a photo of you and your kids, pets, a travel photo, or motorcycles, but don't make one of these the first or main photo.
- Smiling poses are best but a serious shot is okay too.
- Post 4 or 5 photos, not 15 or 20! That sends the message that you think too much of yourself.
Some BAD photos found online:
Mr. Flathead. We can't tell if he's bald or not. (Not that there's anything wrong with baldness but it's just nice to know.)
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He looks like he has an antenna
growing out of his back!
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This looks like a first-grader
went crazy with Photoshop.
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Sigh...lameness knows no bounds.
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Is he trying to say a woman
must love dogs? Okay, but...
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 Methinks the dog will be #1
and woman #2. |
Mystery man. "Must be psychic
to know what I look like."
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 Too dark, out of focus. Trying
to hide something? |
Too much metal, not enough guy.
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 Too many heads and is that
some kind of secret hand signal? |
Some NICE photos found online:
Good shot taken at work. |
 Looks like he took the photo himself,
which is fine. Nice smile. |
Nice basic head shot for an online dating profile, well-lit,
and pleasant expression. |
 Straightforward snapshot with
not too distracting background. |
This photo says, "I'm open
to meeting new people." |
 Nice, friendly, unassuming pose.
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Great black and white photo. |
 Another interesting black and white. His expression is a little serious but it's kind of creative. |
Writing the online dating profile:
You don't have to be Shakespeare to write a great online dating profile but you should use care. Have one or two people read it. Put it away for a few days and then read it again before posting it. A few additional points to keep in mind:
- Use spell check.
- Don't apologize for anything i.e. I'm not very good at this, I don't know what to say, I'm just your average Joe, etc. Present yourself as confident and assertive, not self-effacing.
- Avoid cliché phrases in your online dating profile i.e. enjoy the simple things in life, no games, I like to live life to the fullest, would like to find that special lady, looking to share the finer things in life/good times with, tired of the bar scene, am a fun loving guy. I am laid back, a hopeless romantic.
- Be honest. We all want to be appealing but please don't say you're divorced, in good shape, and open-minded if you're really separated, obese, and bigoted. I'm not sure I believe the guy who said: "I have no hang ups, skeletons in the closet, debts, revengeful ex-girlfriends, health problems, bad habits or weird tendencies." C'mon…then you wouldn't be human!
- But then again...don't be too honest. Wait until you've established a connection with someone before dropping bombshells like, "I have herpes," or "I have a shoe fetish," or "I've been divorced three times," or "I was addicted to crack but I've been clean for two weeks," or "I have six kids…"
- Say what you are really looking for. If that happens to be sex and mainly sex, then say so. Don't mislead women into thinking you want a relationship when you don't.
- Be positive. Don't complain about how lonely you are in an online dating profile, how tired you are of "head games" and the bar scene, how badly you've been hurt before, how you don't want any drama. There's a time and a place for bellyaching and this isn't it.
- Make sure the length is reasonable. One paragraph is too short. (Need more info.) A 5000 word novella is too long. (Yawn.) Say just enough to paint a realistic picture of yourself and what you're looking for so we get a good idea of who you are but without boring us with too much information.
- Be specific. For example:
No: Love the outdoors
Yes: Love kayaking, bicycling, and wild-boar hunting
No: Enjoy quality time at home
Yes: I like to make fajitas and watch Netflix movies
No: I am a nice guy
Yes: I say 'please' and 'thank you' and open doors for women
No: I like to have fun
Yes: I like theme parks, playing strip poker, and panning for gold
No: Enjoy the finer things in life
Yes: Enjoy Wolfgang Puck eateries and diamond shopping
No: I can be rough around the edges
Yes: I burp regularly and talk too much
No: I'm a simple guy
Yes: I'm happiest with a beer and TV remote in my hand
No: I'm down to earth
Yes: I read Mother Earth News and make my own sauerkraut
No: I like to hang out
Yes: I like to watch Seinfeld reruns
One last thing…have FUN writing your online dating profile! Be conversational, be funny, be sincere, be optimistic. Follow our tips and you're sure to write a bang-up profile and increase your chances of meeting great women.
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