| |
7 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman
If you want to keep the peace, never say the following things...
Here are 7 Things a man should NEVER say to a woman:
- “Calm down.” or “Relax.”
If your woman is upset and you tell her to calm down, this will have the opposite effect you want. Why? Because you are not acknowledging her feelings. In fact, you are belittling them by implying that she shouldn’t feel whatever she’s feeling. Even if you think she’s overreacting, never, never tell her to calm down. If you do, what she hears is, “I don’t care why you’re upset. I just want you to shut up.” The way to get her to calm down is to say something like, “Wow, you’re really upset. Let’s see if we can figure this out.” Then she will feel like you’re actually listening and will automatically start to calm down.
- “What’s the big deal?”
This is similar to “Calm down.” No matter what she’s upset about, to her it IS a big deal and you should never say this. She is entitled to her feelings regardless of how different your reaction is to the situation. To repeat: you must acknowledge her feelings if you don’t want this to escalate and her to resent the hell out of you.
Read this website’s page on communication.
- “Is it that time of the month?”
If you want a woman to go from furious to enraged, just say this. Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t that time of the month. But the point is you’re still not acknowledging her feelings, regardless of what triggered them. It’s infuriating for a woman to hear this because it feels like you’re patronizing her and writing the problem off to her hormones instead of dealing with it directly. You should absolutely never, ever, say this.
- “Let’s have sex.” (in the middle of an argument)
The last thing a woman wants to do when she’s angry at her man is have sex with him. Post-anger sex, after you’ve made up and resolved the problem is different. Then it can be great. But if the problem is still sitting there like this huge, smelly pile in the middle of the room, there’s no way sex is going to make the stink go away. You can’t just stall or fool her into going off on a sexual tangent and hope it will go away by itself. It won’t.
#1: deal with problem. #2: then have sex.
- Anything other than “You’re beautiful,”
if she asks you any of the following questions:
- Does this make me look fat?
- Do you think I’ve gained weight?
- Which outfit do you like better?
- How do I look?
Even if you don’t necessarily believe it at that moment, say it anyway. She just wants to be reassured that you love her and are still attracted to her. If she has, in fact, gained weight, believe me, she knows it and doesn’t need to hear it from you. Which brings me to #6.
- Anything negative about her weight.
Even if you think she’s put on a few pounds, keep it to yourself. Criticism about her weight is not helpful. She’s well aware of the fact that her clothes are tighter and her thighs flabbier.
- Anything that implies she’s stupid.
This could be anything like the following statements lobbed in a sarcastic tone: “Duh!” or “Well, what did you think was going to happen?” or “How could you ______?” or “You have it all wrong.” or “Well I just said ______.” Just because she didn’t understand something or made a mistake or whatever, it’s never okay to imply that she’s dumb. This is an extremely insulting and infuriating put down. No way can you support intimacy in a relationship if you do this.
There are plenty of ways for a man to put his foot in his mouth but these are just a few things you should never say to a woman.
Return from 7 Things you should never say to a woman to What Women Want From Men
|
