Attracted to a Married Coworker

About a year ago, I was offered a promotion and accepted it. This meant moving to another department. I made it clear to Susan that she was a great manager and I would miss working by her side (I certainly do), but we would still see each other daily and would continue to be friends. Shortly after my transfer, I realized that I missed her more than I could've imagined and became attached to her emotionally and attracted to her physically.

Now, whenever I go to a company bar outing, I always sit with Susan, talk to her more than anyone else, and give her a hug good night when the evening's over. During the day, she will occasionally come into my office for work-related matters, and she'll come to my desk to use my phone or computer--always brushing up against me. I don't know exactly what she wants out of me. I would love to have an intimate relationship with her, but I can't forget that she has her own family that she goes home to every night.

With the economic climate the way it is in my state of residence, I would be a fool to give up this job. How can I continue to work with Susan and forget all these feelings I have for her, and at the same time keep my job and keep her as just a friend? I'm not a loser who has a problem meeting women. I've been referred to as a "stud muffin" who can go to a bar and get at least three phone numbers on a given night. I LOVE women and meet them wherever I go--but I have never had this sort of fixation on one woman like I have on Susan.

Dear Dudley,

The first thing you should look for in a potential love partner isn't great legs, a nice ass, or blonde hair. The first thing you should look for is that she be AVAILABLE. This woman is married, therefore she is NOT available, therefore it would be in your best interest to let this one go, no matter how strong your feelings are. This is a friendship that will only cause you pain. It's a good thing that you no longer work in the same department because that makes it easier to avoid her. Don't encourage her to visit you in your office and stop seeking her out at bar outings. You need to go cold turkey on this one I'm sorry to say.

Sometimes there's just no easy way out of things. You probably knew the answer to your own question but needed to hear it from someone else. I'm sorry this is so hard but the next time you eye an attractive coworker, refresh your list of the qualities you want in a woman and put NOT MARRIED at the top of the list.