How to Be Nice and Get the Girl

by Seattle Dating Coach
(Seattle, US)

If you have fallen into the 'Nice guy' syndrome or have come to believe that 'nice guys finish last' then I'm here to tell you that you're "niceness" is not what is holding you back. Is it really the NICE guy who finishes last? Is it the NICE guy who doesn't get the girl? The answer is NO!

You can be nice and still attract women. In fact, being nice has really little to do with your ability to attract a woman. In fact, some of the most successful men in the art of attracting women are men who GIVE VALUE to the people around them, to both men and women! They exude confidence in themselves, and empower others in a genuine and kind way. They offer their opinion, and play off of others'. What it really breaks down to is a combination of social experience, and self-confidence.

So often, men resort to flattery, and go out of their way to do kind gestures for attractive women because they feel like what they're working with isn't as good, or good enough for the woman they're going for. It isn't so much what they're saying, but the source which it comes from.

Picture two men for a second. One of the men is wandering around looking for a potential mate. His intent is to meet a woman (this intent alone is already working against him as women are very keen on picking up the subtleties of what men are looking for). He strolls through the bar and sees a beautiful woman in line to order to a drink. He walks behind her and compliments her on how beautiful her dress is. While she sizes him up, he goes for compliment number two; "it has a really cool design, where'd you get it?" Though she may continue the conversation, she can tell right away that you're into her, and because of this control, she begins to look around the bar for other men who are there to be social, and when she's sees them, she says nicely, "it was nice to meet you," and walks away to her friends.

Another man is in the bar communicating with a group of strangers about some interesting experience that he had. They begin talking about the Seattle Sounders and how they all love Montero, and one of them doesn't like soccer, and so the rest poke fun at him playfully. This man sees the same woman with her friends, tells the men that it was a pleasure meeting them, and that he'd come back shortly. He walks over to the group of women and says "Finally a group of women who know how to dress. Ladies, you look wonderful," and then he says playfully, "it's funny how groups of women always dress a little similar." Then he makes an observation about how their looks are the same.

You can be nice, and still get women; but again, it's a combination of comfort, intent, and confidence.

Men who are considered 'nice' often lack self-confidence, social skills, and inevitably, they lack success with women; it isn't the essence of being nice, but more about his neediness, his discomfort in different social/sexual/environmental situations. Begin with these, and attracting women will become a by-product of these.