Don't do it!

by Neverland
(Atlanta, GA)

If the woman is married, you stand to lose a lot more than you will gain.

First the positives:

Yes, you may be able to attract a beautiful woman, have great, spell-bounding sex, and carry on like you are on cloud nine. Forbidden fruit is very exiting and invigorating. It can even feel absolutely electric.

Both she and you will probably enjoy the time together. She will feel like a school girl again, since marriage naturally carries some boredom and perfunctory duties. She will feel young again and you will be the recipient of those affections and feelings of giddiness.

Now the negatives.

Most of these are formulated upon the premise you get caught, but not all.

(1) Several people are going to get hurt:

(A) The husband. He may be a complete jerk. Then she should leave him first.

(B) The children: They will naturally be hurt and do not think you will be able to EVER become daddy. They will always resent you, even if they learn to live with it.

(C) Her: Eventually, guilt is going to kick in. She will eventually have remorse. This will become greater as the children's resentment toward her becomes focused.

(D) You: I think men can actually fall in love more rapidly than women, especially if you are above 35. If she breaks it off, then how will you feel? If her husband finds out, you could wind up hurt or dead! Most affairs do not end with a new marriage or long term relationship, they end with the married partner walking away.

(E) Co- Workers: If they find out, you may get the high fives from the men, until or unless a divorce results from the outcome. Women will surely not trust you and women may find this surprising, but men will not either; especially around their families. You may become ostracized at work.

Bottom line

If you just both want an affair without attachments, then weigh the overall outcome. It is going to be very hard to maintain a relationship as friends and co-workers when sex becomes part of the relationship, keep that in mind. The relationship will change for both of you. You cannot put the Genie back into the bottle, once you release it.

Make sure if you go ahead with the affair, both of you determine the rules and boundaries. I still do not suggest it, but if you go there, you had both better go in with your eyes wide open. Talk about what you expect from the fling and what happens if you get caught. She may be fantasizing and intrigued, but she may not have thought out the consequences. You may be in the same boat. Easier for singles, they do not have as much to lose. If you care for her, please remember, she has everything to lose. She could even risk losing her own children.

Finally,

I have been where you are. I had a women I worked with I would have loved to have an affair and relationship with. She was into me, but I could not do it!!

The risk of her losing her family was not worth it to me, I cared too much for her for her to risk that!!