Have a Great Conversation with a Woman

How to have a great conversation with a woman and other concerns...

Dear WWWFM,

I came across your website by chance and think it is great.

I have been reading the Top 10 things that women like and one of them is about being able to have a conversation. This probably sounds really dumb but what else can you talk about? I sometimes run out of things to speak about. Do you have any suggestions?

Another question if you don't mind please....when do the games stop? For example: I want to do all these things you suggest but what happens if it is too much? Shouldn't we (men) be playing the game so to say? For example: I want to send a text message but what if it is too much? I always think, well "maybe I should wait for her to text me?"

Lastly, I am normally a confident, independent person but since I have met this girl, she has become my life. This is not a healthy situation and I guess it deals with another of your top 10 suggestions of having passion for something other than your woman. How do I keep my passions if all I want to do is see her?

Thank you for your guidance.

Dear Gino,

About the passion question…it sounds like you are in the throes of new love, which is wonderful! It's natural to want to be someone all the time in the early stage of a love relationship and I don't think that's unhealthy. But don't drop your friends or family or neglect your job. Don't give up the things you love to do either, because then she will get a skewed picture of you. If you do "give up" the other things in your life for awhile, when you do go back to them, it will be an adjustment for her.

I don't know if men do this but women are notorious for forgetting about their friends once they've started an intense relationship and that's pretty hard on friendships. In a nutshell: it's okay to spend extra time with her for awhile but try to keep it balanced, for your own perspective, and so she will learn about all of you, not just the "you" you set aside for her away from all the distractions of life.

On to your other questions…Re: conversation with a woman. I can't really give you a list of things to talk about because a conversation takes on a life of its own. In general though, people usually like to talk about themselves. People also love it when you ask for their opinion. But be careful about giving advice unless someone asks you for it.

What are your passions and what are hers? Talk about those. Do you read the newspaper? Bone up on current events and talk about that. It depends, though, on what your companion's interests are. For example, I have no interest in discussing cars or sports and if that's all someone wanted to talk about, I would be bored to tears.

One key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener. When you have a conversation with a woman, give her your full attention. Don't just wait until she stops talking so you can jump in with your two cents. Listen carefully, maybe even pause to let the words sink in, and if something isn't clear, ask for clarification. It's a wonderful feeling to know that someone is really and truly listening to you and seems genuinely interested in what you are saying.

I very rarely meet anyone, male or female, who is a great conversationalist. Most people spend way too much time talking about themselves and it never feels like an equal give and take. And on the flip side, several men I've dated over the years were horrible conversationalists because they gave me one or two-word answers to questions and then didn't say anything else, and never asked me about myself. (I suppose this would be a great opportunity for a woman who likes to talk a lot, but I tend to not ramble on about myself unless prodded.) There's nothing worse than sitting with your date in a restaurant while the silence thunders between you.

Click here for an interesting E-book on how to talk to any woman...!

And finally, re: when do the games stop? The main thing is to be yourself and do what feels right. It's great if you want to implement some of our suggestions to be a better person and partner, but don't fret about getting it all perfect. It sounds like your heart is in the right place. And if you have the urge to send her a text message, do it! Don't overanalyze whether you should wait for her, etc. Just follow your instincts and gut feelings. And if anything you do is annoying, it's up to her to point it out to you. But sending her a message is not "too much," unless you do it ten times a day.

I hope you find these musings helpful. You should be able to have a great conversation with a woman with no problems. Good luck!

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